My Miscarriage Story - Pt. 2

Letting it be known has helped with the acceptance of it immensely. My denial phase had passed once it was confirmed, and luckily I was able to refrain from holding on to anger at myself, and at the situation. Don't stress something that you can't control - a phrase I often tell myself, even before going through this experience.

Something I had originally wanted to bury in my memories and forget about, now fuels my desire to help other women who have experienced, are experiencing, or will experience what I have recently gone through.

Miscarriage is something that is seldom talked about - because of that, women like myself don't realize that it's something that can be considered common.

It's draining, it's heartbreaking, and it's a little traumatizing. Mind you, everyone experiences and copes with situations differently. What might be a big deal to me, may not be to you, and that's okay.

They never prepare you for the mental battle you will have to go through after experiencing something like this. I'm here to tell you that whatever you feel through this experience is valid. It's normal to blame yourself, it's normal to have days where you feel like it wasn't a big deal, and it's normal to have days where you randomly burst into tears just at the thought of it. Feel what you need to feel, because we're only human at the end of the day.

The attachment I grew so quickly to my baby was unexpected, to say the least. I did blame myself - if I had been more cautious, maybe this wouldn't have happened. If I had tried harder to be healthier, I'd still be pregnant right now. You could be doing everything right, and it still might happen. Please know it isn't your fault mama, and I too, know that now.

It just happens.

As each day passes, it gets easier. Although this pregnancy wasn't planned, this experienced has opened my eyes to my realization that being a mom is something I truly want. Maybe it just isn't the right time; now it's on me to better prepare for when it is.

I trust God has his plan for me - that this was a lesson to give me strength to keep moving forward and rediscover my passions. That this is just another stepping stone; something I need to overcome to get me one step closer to where I'm meant to be. For now, heaven gained an angel, and I too have gained another guardian angel now watching over me.

Until next post - sending love and light, always.

XO